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As I’m prepping for GDC, doing my Moriarty-esque research, and setting up meetings, I realized something…

Most of us have our asks completely backwards. When we want a favor, a coffee meeting, feedback, or anything else, we tend to write an email like this:

“Hey Susan,

I hope you’ve been well since last GDC! Congratulations on all your success as of late. I can’t wait to see what you do next. Let’s make sure to get another coffee soon.

I want to let you know that I just launched a Kickstarter project for Waluigi’s Erotic Adventures. Would you mind sharing the link out and retweeting it?

Thanks so much!”

The above is something every single one of us has sent and received.

And if you were to ask the high-performers who get these sorts of emails, you’ll find that they hate these sorts of messages.

In that example, when you get to the second paragraph, it’s easy to assume that all of the pleasantries before it were fake.

Not everyone will feel this way, but it happens often enough that it’s a good idea to be careful of it.


If you want to ask acquaintances for meetings, feedback, advice, or any sort of favor while being more genuine and WITHOUT making them feel used, just flip the script around.

“Hey Susan,

I want to let you know that I just launched a Kickstarter project for my game, Waluigi’s Erotic Adventures, and I wonder if you can do me a big favor and tweet about it?

I hope you’ve been well since last GDC! I’ve been following your success closely and can’t wait to see what you do next. Let’s be sure to get a coffee again soon.

Thanks so much!”

The second option builds trust. Just asking for the thing you want makes your intentions clear, instead of hiding behind a veil of false kindness.

The first option trains the people you’re messaging that you’ll butter them up in an attempt to get what you want.


Which email would you, a busy, driven person, rather receive? Most pick the latter.

As you’re prepping for conferences, setting up meetings, and getting your networking going you’ll be doing a ton of outreach and asking. Be sure that you’re completely clear and sincere in your asks.

Avoid burying whoever you’re talking to in a mound of fake compliments in an effort to get something out of them.


Learning all of this stuff on your own can be tough Which is why I created two free courses for you to jump start your career in the game industry. Inside, you’ll learn how to charge for your work, find gigs, and build a super strong game industry network.


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