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How NOT to Achieve Your Dreams

Let's talk about the most insane amusement park ever made: Action Park. Oh, you haven't heard of Action Park? Don't worry. Akash is here to regale you. Firstly, it was a water park in New Jersey, which, if you're familiar with the US, should tell you everything you need to know. But if you're not, it was the most dangerous water park ever created. There were no rules, the rides were insane and shot people into the air on a regular basis, and there was ungrounded electricity all over the park, meaning large bodies of water were electrified. ALSO LOOK AT THIS WATER SLIDE!!

Action Park 360 Waterslide

So many people got hurt there that there's even an HBO documentary about this place. This park is the clearest example of how NOT to do something correctly. And when it comes to doing… well, anything, most of us are concerned about getting things right. We want to know how to get hired, how to network, and with the new year upon us, how to set effective goals. But in this case, it would serve us better to learn how NOT to achieve our dreams.

Here's what we're covering today: Part 1: Don't Commit to Anything Part 2: Getting Good at Blame Part 3: Stop Learning! Please! In our quest to achieve absolutely nothing The first step is to not commit to anything. Instead of deciding on a direction for our lives that will grow and change as we advance, we need to make absolutely certain that we don't double down on anything. Instead of trying at something many many many many times, dealing with failures and setbacks, and growing through the results, we need to bounce from thing to thing, claiming that we're just "finding our passion." That way, we won't really get skilled at anything and our goals will never come to fruition. But even with all of this effort we're putting into not committing, there is still a very powerful tool we have to add in our arsenal: blame. Blaming others can really set us back beautifully And that's what we're all about here, isn't it? If we don't get a job we were going for, we need to start blaming them for not understanding our value, not giving us feedback for free, and not upending their lives to accommodate us - a complete stranger. When we don't take any real efforts to network and then wonder why the gigs aren't coming in, it's not our fault. It's those stuck-up developers’ fault. How dare they not listen to our genius demo reel for fun on a Saturday night?! And what if work was coming in and then dried up? How could anyone expect us to start reaching out to people? What's wrong with the world? Well, certainly it's everyone else that’s wrong. We've won awards and those matter so really it's time for reality to catch up with us and not the other way around. Now even with these herculean efforts you're putting in, you could still be out there learning, and we need to nip that in the bud ASAP. Constant learning will get you everywhere And that's not okay! We don't WANT to get anywhere! Don't you understand?! You've already gone to school, and once that's done, it's time to never learn again. Hang up your thinking cap, because it's time to just relax and bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow for the rest of your days. Might I recommend binging mainstream media under the socially-acceptable guise of "staying informed"? That'll really make sure you don't get to fulfill your potential.

"But Akash, you home made air fryer donut," you say "what if I WANT to achieve my dreams?!" I'm very disappointed to hear that, but if, for some reason, you actually want to:

  • Do something with your years

  • Make an impact

  • Earn enough to support you and everyone you care about

  • Empower others

  • Ensure a generation of people can succeed due to your example

  • Make our world more inclusive and stem the tide of fascism

  • Share knowledge

  • Create something that will prevent someone from going down a dark path

  • And make the world a better place

Then do the opposite of everything that's in this article. But I don't see why anyone would want to do that.

So, let's summarize what we've covered today

  1. Don't commit to anything. Instead, bounce around looking for your "passion" and quit at the first sign of difficulty. Repeat forever.

  2. Blame everyone except yourself! This is where you start to isolate yourself from even the most helpful souls, and really stall any progress.

  3. Stop learning. Ideally today. Never get better at anything, because you're either born with talent or you’re not. No one ever became successful because of tenacity or hard work, anyway.

Much like Action Park did everything wrong That's exactly what we want to be doing, too. Otherwise we'll achieve our dreams, and that would be absolutely terrible. So, do exactly what was written in this article And please don't do the opposite. Otherwise, you might just succeed.

If, for some reason, you're still hell-bent on succeeding in the game audio world

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